My two-year-old daughter is learning to express her opinions in new ways. When asked to come to dinner or pick up her toys, she thoughtfully responds “No thanks.”
Most times when we ask people for help or participation (in something like a Remarkable Tribute, for instance), we don’t get an outright “no thanks.” We get “Great idea, I’ll try to think of something to say” or something like that. We get procrastination and well-meaning folks wanting to submit something perfect. So, what do you do? You have to make it easy for people to participate. Give them permission to make it easy on themselves.
With my daughter, we are experimenting with asking multiple choice questions to get engagement. “Do you want to pick up the dolls or the blocks first? ” we say to turn the request into a game. The specifics also help her to focus on what is being asked. Also, going back to the purpose is important. “Let’s clean up the room, so that we can get out the coloring books” can be a great motivation.
This is not to imply that your friends and family are like two-year olds (please don’t misunderstand), but I think there is some human nature in all of us, no matter our age. We do better if the request is easy to fulfill, specific, and tied back to a larger purpose.
With your next tribute, you can take some of these tips with you:
- Give people specific ideas about what to contribute. Ideas here include family recipes, a birthday greeting, a “what we think Bill will be doing after he retires” prediction, pictures of kids in superhero costumes, pictures of plants from your garden, etc. Be specific so that people don’t experience writer’s block.
- Give people permission to contribute something small. Everyone wants to submit something perfect. Articulate, clever, and meaningful words combined with the perfect professional images. That isn’t that realistic however. A simple greeting and a picture you might already have around will make for a great tribute, when combined with the same from other friends and family.
- Give people a deadline. That helps everyone to share the sense of urgency. Especially if the deadline is tied to an event, holiday, or party.
- Give people a sense of why their contribution matters. Remind them of the tribute recipient and what they mean. Remind them of how much this tribute will mean to them, now and in the future.
We so appreciate your enthusiasm for Remarkable Tributes and wish you much success with your future projects!


